Semper Fidelis
by PotMunkey
Summary: AU This is kind of a Cruel Intentionsy world. Faith and Buffy are together, very wealthy, living together in a penthouse in Manhattan. FemSlash. Please R&R. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Title: Semper Fidelis   
Rating: R  
Pairing: F/B, F/Other  
Disclaimer: Don't sue me, I'm poor, I make no money from this.  
Feedback: Please, I really do like to hear what people think. I do take in account what people would like to see.  
Summary: This is kind of Cruel Intentions-y world. Not in the sense that this story involves any of the characters from CI, but just the setting – rich, high society, debutantes and the like. Faith and Buffy are together, very wealthy, living together in a penthouse in Manhattan, but don't have a relationship. Not really. You'll see… Also, angst warning!

A/N: Okay, I don't know where I'm going with this one… let me know if you have suggestions.

* * *

I'm sitting in the living room reading the latest issue of Vogue when I hear Faith trying to get rid of her latest plaything, and I mentally roll my eyes. This is always the same, she brings home some random fuck, has her way with them, then makes up some lame excuse, gets rid of the girl, and goes back to bed. Though sometimes I just wish… 

"Sorry, baby, you gotta go."

"Are you sure? We can—"

"Yeah, I've got a… um… a… uh… yoga… yeah… yoga appointment in like ten minutes."

"Oh, well maybe we can do lunch?"

"Nope, sorry, babe, I'm busy today."

I can hear the disappointment in her voice, "Oh… well… okay."

"Bye."

"Call me."

"Whatever," she mutters as she closes the door after her.

"Y'know, I wish you'd stop doing things like that," I don't even bother to look up from my magazine.

She raises an eyebrow, "I'm sure there are lots of things you'd like me to stop doing, you have to be more specific honey."

"I wish you'd stop treating women the way you do, like little toys that you can play with whenever you please; only to discard them when you get bored. I swear, you're worse than a lot of men I know."

"What would you like me to do then, sweetheart? Settle down and have a meaningful relationship? Fall in love maybe?"

"We both know _that's_ not going to happen," I roll my eyes – for real this time.

"What? Having a meaningful relationship or falling in love?"

"Both."

She just continues to smirk and takes a seat next to me.

I sigh, "What am I going to do with you?"

"I think the question you ought to be asking is: 'What am I going to do _to_ you?'" she leers, leaning over and placing soft kisses along my jaw line. When she reaches my mouth, she pauses briefly to run her tongue across my lower lip and I allow her entry. I place my hand behind her head, pulling her closer, tangling my fingers in her dark tresses. I smile into the kiss when I feel her hand slither up along my inner thigh. I slide down in my seat, spreading my legs a little to allow her better access.

I don't know why I always let her do this to me… take advantage of me… use me… but I do know why… I let her because it feels good. So what if she doesn't love me? You can't have your cake and eat it too…

I roll over and look at the vanilla scented candle burning on my nightstand. I'm transfixed by its small flickering flame, casting its glow around the room, I watch as it causes the shadows to dance on the wall behind it. Reaching over, I pick up the candle. I spread out my fingers, passing my fingertips thru flame back and forth a few times. Funny thing about fire, the way it moves in any direction it wants, destroying anything in its path, yet still so… magnetic. But, if you're careful, you can touch it, but just briefly, if only to feel its warmth. Try to leave your fingers there too long though and you get burned.

Taking a cigarette out of my designer case, I use the candle to light it. I take a leisurely drag and use the smoke to blow out the candle, leaving me in the dark. I take another long, slow drag. The room is cold; the bright orange cherry of my cigarette is my only warmth. Looking at the sleeping figure next to me, I sigh. There's no warmth there.

I stub my cigarette out in the crystal ashtray that also resides on my nightstand and close my eyes. I will sleep to come. It never does. Why does this always happen to me after we have sex? I get up, this is useless.


	2. Chapter 2

Leaning back in the bubble-filled tub, I close my eyes and try to relax. This is my place, my sanctuary. This is where I come to get my mind off her…

Just as my mind finally starts to wander off to a nice peaceful place, Faith bursts in.

"Hey baby, tie this in the back for me, will ya?" she strolls over and sits with her bare back facing me on steps next to my bathtub.

I sigh, "You know, Faith, there's this new thing that they've invented… it's called knocking."

"Yeah, well, knocking is overrated."

I glare daggers at her. How dare she interrupt my quiet time so she can look hot in that – _my_ – halter top? I'm about to respond to her smart-ass little comment when she concedes.

"Oh fine," she gets up and walks back outside. She closes the door and knocks twice, but immediately swings the door open afterwards.

"Faith, you're supposed to wait until you're invited in."

"Whatever, just tie this." Well at least she tried, kind of.

"Fine, come here. Why are you dressed like that anyway?" I know why, she's probably going to some club to pick up a girl, but I ask anyway.

"I'm going to Marquee, speaking of which, why aren't you dressed yet?"

"Not going."

"Why?"

"Don't want to go with _you_," I reply casually, finished tying up her halter.

"Aw, now that hurts, honey, why not?" she asks indifferently as she checks herself out in the mirror. Yeah, she looks good, dressed in tight white leather pants and my red backless halter.

"Why _would_ I want to go with you? You ditch me as soon as we get there to find some dumb blonde to fuck and I'm left sitting alone." She smiles at me and comes back over to sit by me. Picking up a loofah, she starts to gently wash my back, I lean forward to make it easier for her.

"Baby, _you_ are a blonde."

"That's beside the point."

"And I don't always ditch you."

"Oh, yes, I'm sorry, unless someone undesirable is trying to hit on you, then you come sit next to me and tell them I'm your girlfriend."

"Yeah, two things, sweetheart: first off, they don't let undesirables into Marquee and secondly, you _are_ my girlfriend," she smirks, letting go of the loofah. She moves from my back to my front, relocating her hand to tenderly massage my right breast.

"Whatever."

"Come with me," she breathes into my ear. She starts sucking on my earlobe, I begin to relax again, even though she's just trying to manipulate me, this feels good. "I'm not above begging…" she moves her lips to my neck and dips her hand lower – much lower.

"Fine, I'll go." With that, she stops suddenly and just gets up, walking towards the bathroom door.

"Be ready in an hour."

Bitch.


	3. Chapter 3

The club is packed, as it always is – after all, it is one of the trendiest clubs in town. The music is loud, the people are good-looking and the drinks are premium – and expensive. It's no wonder why celebrities and New York's elite like to come and play here.

Might be enjoyable if she hadn't done it to me again, of course she did, why did I expect this time to be any different? I'm sitting in one of the booths here at Marquee – alone – and Faith is over near the bar trying to pick up some straight girl. She is absolutely reprehensible, will she give me no dignity at all? This is just a game to her, divide and conquer – or maybe for her it's conquer and divide. Either way, I get screwed, figuratively that is… well, most of the time. I groan… then down the rest of my martini. This is going to be a long night. Perhaps I should just phone the driver and have him come take me home…

"Would you like another drink, Miss?" the waitress asks politely. Hmm… she looks familiar.

"Yes, make it double, please."

"I'll be right back with your order." As she scurries away to retrieve my drink, Faith comes over and plops down next me.

"Hey baby," she smiles, wrapping her right arm around me. Using her left hand, she pulls my legs across her lap.

"Why are you suddenly all cuddle-happy?" She's really not a cuddler.

"Since when do I need a reason to be affectionate with my girl?" I can't help the scoff that escapes me. I peek over her shoulder and see the girl from the night before.

"So you're telling me that Jenna over there has nothing to do with this sudden bout of tenderness?"

"Who's Jenna?" she asks scrunching up her eyebrows. I roll my eyes, God, she has no shame.

"The girl you ditched for yoga?"

"Oh, no baby, not at all," she laughs, "you're my girl, you know that." Yeah, right and pigs can fly.

"Oh, hi Faith," the waitress purrs as she sets down my drink. So I guess that's why she looked familiar. That's not surprising, since Faith's probably screwed half of Manhattan by now and the other half are men. She frowns as she notices our cozy arrangement and briskly walks away.

"Is there anyone in this whole damn city that you haven't cheated on me with?"

"Me? Cheat on you? Don't be ridiculous, sweetie, I'm insulted that you would think such a thing." She's such a smart ass.

"Yeah, 'cause y'know, you put the Faith in faithful, right babe?" I bite back sarcastically.

"Always," she smirks. I simply ignore her and start on my fresh martini. The day Faith and I have a real relationship will be the day hell freezes over and Michael Jackson doesn't like little boys anymore. She's about to go chase that straight girl again when I grab her arm, pulling her back down.

"Faith, I would appreciate some discretion when it comes to your little indiscretions. Everyone who travels in our circle already knows about your petty tryst with that promiscuous Chase girl. We wouldn't want them all to be aware of your affairs with ordinary club trash as well, now would we?"

"No baby, we wouldn't," she smiles. She leans over to give me a fleeting kiss, then bounds away in search of her newest conquest. Great.

"Miss, could I get another martini please?"


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N: I'm not getting very many reviews, so I can't tell whether people really like this or not. Let me know if you like where I'm taking this… or if you absolutely hate it._**

Ow…

Maybe all those martinis at the club last night wasn't such a great idea… 'cause right now, my head feels like giant over-inflated balloon that's about to pop and there are hundreds of tiny construction workers in there running jackhammers. I get up and stagger into my bathroom. Lifting the lid on my toilet, I quickly empty the contents of my stomach into the porcelain basin.

"Mornin' twinkie," Faith smirks walking in, "you always look this good when you first wake up, baby?"

"Fuck you." My verbal skills are not at their finest right now and I certainly do not want to deal with her right now.

"Maybe later, honey," she says flatly. In a surprising act of kindness she opens my medicine cabinet and takes out a bottle of aspirin, drops two in my hand, then hands me a glass of water. I graciously take the pills and guzzle the water.

"Thanks," I murmur, getting into a standing position. She looks me up and down, then gives me a huge shit-eating grin. I know I look like shit, but I've seen her after one of her drinking binges too. "What Faith?"

"I hope you didn't forget our date tonight, babe. Your parents are expecting us at their housewarming party." Oh fuck.

"Since when do _you_ care what my parents expect of us?"

"I don't," she replies tersely, "but you do, just thought that I'd remind you." She turns on her heels and walks out. I wonder what she's up to…

After taking a nice, long, hot shower, I'm getting ready to go shopping. I have to get a new dress for my parents' party. She's right, I do care about what my parents think – my therapist says I care too much, but fuck him, what does he know? All my life, I've tried so hard for their approval. But as soon as Faith walks in the picture, what do they do? They fawn all over her, like she can do no wrong. I couldn't even face them for the longest time after they – and the rest of the rich and social – heard about Faith's affair with Cordelia. Naturally, my parents blamed _me_ for that, said I didn't do enough to keep her interested. Hmm, if they only knew… It takes me three hours to find the perfect dress, which is not bad, considering it usually takes me over twice that long. I found the little gem at a boutique on Lexington Avenue. It's a full-length dress, made of dark red silk, with a slit up the side that reaches mid-thigh and is almost completely backless. Not too slutty, but classy and definitely sexy. I love it, hopefully my parents will too…

…

We arrive at the party fashionably late – at Faith's insistence – and are greeted immediately by my baby sister, Dawn.

"You're late and mom is looking for you," the brat says to me dryly.

"Well, it's nice to see you too, Dawnie," I reply sarcastically.

Her tone changes as soon as she sees Faith walk up behind me, "Oh, hey Faith, welcome."

"Hey brat," Faith merely shrugs, taking my hand as we walk inside.

The first floor is crowded with socialites and the like. So it takes me a minute to spot my mother and father in the banquet room, near the fireplace.

"Mom," I greet, giving her a polite hug, "Daddy," and him a peck on the cheek.

"Buffy, Faith, how nice of you to join us," my father says obligingly.

"What took you so long?" my mother asks, sounding rather irritated.

"Well, mom, I—"

"Never mind," she turns to Faith who's been quiet thus far, "I know how long it can take her to get ready. So, Faith, you look wonderful and how are your parents?"

"They're fine," she replies casually, her eyes scanning the room. What the fuck is she looking for?

"Mom, is there anything you'd like to say to me?" About my dress perhaps? And how long it took to get my hair done today?

She surveys me slowly, then asks, "Honey, have you gained a few pounds?"

My jaw drops. That bitch! Faith puts on a fucking black pantsuit in fifteen minutes and she gets complimented as soon as she sets foot in here. I spend the whole day trying to make myself look incredible and I get 'have you gained a few pounds?'

"I—"

"C'mon baby, why don't we go get us a few drinks?" Faith interjects, still holding my hand and starting to pull me away.

"Faith, Buffy, we can—"

"No, its okay we'll get them," she quickly leads me away. She snatches a couple of champagne flutes from a passing waiter's tray and escorts me outside to the patio. I lean against the railing, taking a glass from her. Downing the bubbly in one swig, I throw the flute against an opposing wall, shattering the glass.

"How dare she—"

"Chill baby, you know how your mom is," she whispers, leaning into me. She tenderly lifts my chin with her index finger and gives me a soft kiss. I give her weak smile.

"Why don't you wait out here, I'll be right back with something a little stronger…"

"'Kay," as I watch her leave, my eyes settle on a picturesque brunette standing near the bar.

Cordelia Chase.

What in the fuck is _she_ doing here?


	5. Chapter 5

I grab the crook of Faith's arm as she walks away from me and yank hard, spinning her around to face me. She looks at me oddly, "What babe?"

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I growl, letting my anger get the best of me.

"I thought I was getting you a drink…"

"Did you know she was going to be here?"

"Um… who was going to be here?"

"Don't play dumb with me Faith," I know she did, that's why she reminded me. Otherwise, I'd usually have to drag her kicking and screaming to one of my parents' parties.

"I'm not, baby, I would never do such a thing," she grins. I look to the bar where the skank is.

"So, you're telling me you had no idea," she looks over to see who I'm staring at, "that Cordelia-fucking-Chase was going to be here?"

"Not a clue, honey," she beams. Ugh, dirty liar. "But now that she's back, don't you think we should, at least, go over and say 'hi?'"

"No," I hiss. I can't believe this. This night cannot get any worse. First my mother, now Cordelia… oh shit… maybe it can, she's spotted us and is making her way over here. I loop my arm through Faith's and step a little closer. Putting on my best fake smile, I ready myself for this exchange.

"Faith! How good to see you again," she smirks, "and Buffy," she says with a fake smile.

"Cordy, it's good to see you too," Faith replies, "when did you get back?"

"Oh, just a few days ago…" she starts getting all moony-eyed with my girlfriend. Slut.

In my most sickeningly sweet voice I ask, "Yes, how was your stay in… Siberia was it?"

"Scandinavia," she corrects, "and it was… well… it was cold."

"I'll bet," a genuine smile creeps onto my face, "I simply can't imagine not being able to wear a skirt for that long. How did you do it?"

"Oh Buffy, you are _so_ funny," her voice drips with venom, "I suppose I have you to thank for my little vacation?" I just keep smiling and lean into Faith.

"Cordelia… darling, come over here, there's someone I'd like you to meet," her mother calls from inside.

"Coming mother," she says pleasantly. She turns to leave, but not before turning and whispering, "later, Faith."

"I can't believe—" I stop upon see my mother walk up behind Faith, "what a wonderful party this is. Wouldn't you agree Faith?"

"Huh?" she slowly turns around and sees my mother. "Oh, yeah babe, great party… it's fantastic. Um… excuse me." She makes a quick exit, leaving me alone with my mother. Wonderful… maybe now she'll ask me if I'm a little shorter as well…

"Honey, why did you come outside? The party's inside dear," she asks in a condescending tone.

"Faith and I just wanted to get some air," I lie.

"Oh."

"Mother?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Did you happen to invite Cordelia Chase?"

"Well, yes, I know you two don't get along that well, but I was hoping to put what's happened behind us all. Not just for her, but for her parents, as well."

I bite my tongue and nod.

"Besides, honey, after that whole videotape scandal… the girl could use a break."

"I could break her in two…" I mutter.

"What's that, hon?"

"I said… uh… I'm gonna go inside too," I brush past her quickly. Carefully scanning the main room for Faith, I see no sign of her. She better not be… wait a minute… I spot Cordelia entering the guest bathroom – _alone_. The guest bathroom, which looks a lot more like it should belong in a fancy restaurant than a home, is in a somewhat secluded part of the large room.

I wait a few minutes, then quietly follow her in. She has her back turned to me when I enter, so I take advantage. Grabbing her shoulder, I whirl her around to confront her.

"Listen you vapid whore, stay away from Faith or I'll—"

"You'll do what? Run and tell your mother? Or cry until Faith feels bad for you and gives you a pity fuck? Maybe you'll—"

That bitch! I backhand her fiercely across the face and she stumbles back.

"Shut up Cordelia," I snarl, pushing her hard against the wall, "you're just jealous because I'm actually with her and you're not."

"Poor deluded little Buffy," she says in a sing-song voice, "you just don't get it—"

"No, Cordelia, _you_ don't get it," I give her another shove to prove I'm not kidding, "stay the fuck away from Faith or I'll fucking kill you!"

A toilet flushes behind us. Shit.

Cordelia snatches her purse and scurries out. I on the other hand, take a deep breath and look in the mirror. Straightening up my dress, I open up my purse and carefully check my makeup. The reflection that appears behind me in the mirror makes me drop my lipstick into the sink.

"That jealousy bit was wicked hot!"


	6. Chapter 6

_**Thanks to all who reviewed, keep 'em coming!  
To Liz: I'm honored that this is the only AU fuffy that you've ever liked - so far - but as for me updating twice a day? I'd totally do it, but I think my girl might end up tossing my laptop out the window (so not good). She doesn't like it if I play with the computer more than her.**_

We decide to leave the party as soon as possible. Actually, _I_ decide to leave as soon as possible, so that Faith wouldn't molest me in front of all my parents' party guests. If it were up to her though, she would probably fuck me in the bathroom like some cheap whore. When I insist we leave, she takes my hand and runs – at full sprint – out to the limo. So now I'm inside the limousine, stuck in downtown traffic, about to be fucked like a cheap whore. Well, at least she waited until we got _into_ the limo this time.

"When the limo's a rockin', don't come a knockin'," she told the limo driver as we got in. She has absolutely no tact, whatsoever.

"Honestly Faith, can you imagine what the other people will see? A gridlocked limo, rocking back and forth in the middle of downtown Manhattan," I squirm away, trying to fend off her advances. She pauses momentarily to ponder my question.

"Yeah, they'll be jealous that they're not getting any," she grins, advancing on me.

"Faith…" she rips my dress, "Faith!"

"What babe? It's not like you plan on ever wearing this again and if you do, I'll buy you another."

Oh, I give up.

…

It's a good thing she's a heavy sleeper, that girl could sleep through an earthquake – a Richter scale shattering earthquake. Otherwise, she'd probably toss me out of bed – like her other little toys – for tossing and turning so much. I just don't know what it is about her that always leaves me with so many questions… it just always feels so right when we're together… she just has that effect on people… she make you believe that you're the only one… the only that matters… the only that exists in her world.

Then, reality comes crashing back. And you're just another notch in the bedpost to her.

I get up because I can't sleep. I grab the bottle of Valium out of my nightstand and walk into the kitchen to open a bottle of wine. I drop two little round pills into my hand and throw them back. I use the wine as chaser. Hopefully, I'll sleep a little tonight.

…

I'm having lunch with Willow today at Jean Georges' and I'm running late – thanks again, to Faith. When I arrive, I'm lead to the outdoor dining area where Wills is already seated.

"Hey Will, I'm so sorry I'm late," I apologize, taking a seat.

"Faith?"

"Yeah," I blush.

"It's okay, I haven't been waiting _that_ long." I know that's a lie because she's always early and I'm twenty minutes late… so she's probably been waiting close to half an hour.

"Thanks for trying to make _not_ feel like such a jerk," I say pleasantly. Just as I'm about to ask whether she's ordered yet, the waiter comes by to set drinks and food before us.

"Oh, hope you don't mind, I took the liberty," Will smiles, shyly.

"Not at all," I grin, taking a sip of my mimosa, "oo, my favorite, you're the best Will." Out meal goes by rather easily, exchanging run of the mill gossip every once in awhile. When we finish, she turns to me with a serious expression and takes my hand.

"Are you okay?" she asks, sounding very concerned.

"So you've heard that Cordelia's back, huh?" I ask disinterestedly.

"Erm, yeah," she tries to give me a comforting look, "everyone's kinda heard…"

"Well, isn't that just peachy?" I sneer sarcastically.

"Seriously, Buffy, are you okay with her being back?" she asks with resolve face firmly in place.

"Yes, Will, I'm fine," I pause to think for a moment. "What good would it do if I weren't?"

"You could try to send her back to Siberia." I have to laugh at that.

"As much fun as that might be, I think she's learned her lesson about sex and videotape. Even _she's_ not that dumb."

"That may be true, but…" she trails off, then looks like was suddenly reminded of something. "What about Faith? Are she and Cordy still all—"

"No," I cut in sharply. Even the mere thought of Faith's meanderings with Cordelia makes my blood boil. "No, I had a little chat with Cordelia the other night at my parents' housewarming party." I take another sip of my drink.

"And?"

"And I don't think she'll be trying anything with _my_ girlfriend anytime soon. That is, if she has a brain."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

There's a brief silence.

"So, how are you and Faith doing? I know she's not exactly the most…" she looks away.

"Faithful?"

"Uh… yeah."

"Well…" now it's my turn to look away, "we're… fine."

"Buffy…" she squeezes my hand.

"It's just… I don't know."

"I don't understand why you stay with her… how can you not see the way she treats you?"

"Oh, believe me, I see," I give a sad chuckle, "I'm sure that everyone probably sees how she treats me. In fact, you could probably see it from space."

"And that doesn't bother you?" her voice is soft, sympathetic.

"It's… it's… killing me Will," I finish my drink.

"Maybe it's about time you give her a taste of her own medicine," she suggests, wryly.

"Yeah, 'cause we all know how well that turned out last time," I scoff.

"Kennedy wasn't in the hospital _that_ long," she hesitates, "well, okay, she was, but she survived."

"I just wish that Faith would—"

"Oh my god, Buffy," she points towards the entrance. Just wonderful… it's Cordelia… who else?

"Check please."

* * *

A/N: Just so ya'll know, I don't hate Kennedy persay (she's hot and I'd do her) but she was really annoying when she was on BtVS, so I only kinda hate her.  



	7. Chapter 7

**_Okay, I was actually gonna make this chapter a lot longer, but I was nauseating myself while writing this so I had to stop. I'm sorry this chapter contains what it does, but well, I'm just sorry. This is just so wrong and against the laws of nature… _**

After leaving the restaurant, Will and I decide to do a little shopping. This also gave me a chance to tell her about what happened _after_ my parents' party.

"Why do you let her do that you?" Will suddenly turns to me and asks.

"Well… to be honest… the sex is incredible," I feel the blood rush to my cheeks.

"You know, Buff—"

"I know, I know, that's not a good reason to stay with someone but…"

"As long as you know that," she chides.

"Yeah, yeah," I mutter, perusing though some more designer goods.

"Kennedy!" Willow shouts excitedly. I spin around to see my ex.

"Hey Willow," she smiles, then turns to me, "Buffy, it's good to see you again."

"Hi Kennedy, um… your arm looks like it's healed well."

"Yeah, well, you know what they say, what doesn't kill you will make you stronger," she laughs.

"Yeah," I look away uncomfortably. Last time we were together, it was because I was using her to try and make Faith jealous. Though Faith didn't really show any outward to jealousy to me, she did discreetly introduce Kennedy to the business end of a baseball bat. I might as well have 'Property of Faith' tattooed to my forehead.

"So… you look good Buffy, how've you been?"

"I, eh, I've been better," I sigh.

"Not too happy 'bout Cordelia being back, huh?" Kennedy asks, sympathetically rubbing my shoulder.

"You've heard about that too? I—"

"Oh, I just realized that I have to go, I forgot that I have a… uh… something to do," Willow supplies lamely. As she leaves, she leans in to whisper, "Do it, show Faith what she's missing." Oh, great.

…

Though Kennedy and I actually dated before Faith and I got together, I've just never felt that fire that I do when I'm around Faith. When were together she was nothing but kind and caring and thoughtful to me – which is far more than I can say for Faith. But it didn't work out because she was in love with me and I was… well, I was in love with Faith. I had to do the only thing I could… I let her go.

…

Even though Kennedy's not even in same ballpark as Faith when it comes to sex, I can still close my eyes and imagine she is. I can pretend that Faith's the one who truly cares about me… the one who actually wants to be with me… the one who doesn't mind doing some post-coital cuddling. I think about it all the time, Faith would hold me like there was no tomorrow and whisper sweet nothings in my ear. She would use my actual name and not some insincere pet name.

"I love you, Buffy," she would whisper in my ear and finally mean it.

Then I could whisper back, "I love you too, Faith."

"What?" I'm snapped back to reality by the harshness of my lover's voice.

"Wha? Huh?" I'm still temporarily confused by my day dream.

"You called me Faith," she hisses, getting out of bed and putting on a robe.

"When?" I'm seriously confused now.

"Uh, just now, when I told you I loved you," she scoffs, picking up my own clothes and throwing them at me. Oh shit, that was real?

"I… I…" didn't know I said that out loud, "am so very sorry." I reach for her, but she quickly pulls away.

"I think you should leave," she says softy, but sternly. I know I hurt her and I feel terrible about it. She's never been anything but sweet to me.

"Kennedy, please, I didn't mean it, I—"

"Stop Buffy, don't. Please, just go," she chokes back a sob.


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Okay, for anyone who was confused about what I said about being "sorry" at the beginning of the last chapter, I was referring to the Buffy/Kennedy pairing -shudders- NOT 2 girls being in love. Believe me, I'm in no way homophobic, but Buffy hooking up with Kennedy is just... eww.  
As far as peroxide boy, he will probably not make an appearance (sorry to ya'll Spuffy shippers, but I could never stand him) unless it's so Faith can beat him into the ground or something else degrading.**_

_**

* * *

**_

I step out of the elevator just in time to see Faith discard her latest plaything.

"But Faith, I broke up with my boyfriend for you," she yells at the door.

No answer.

"Excuse me," I try to slip past her to get inside.

"Who the fuck are _you_?" the girl hisses at me.

"I—" I'm interrupted by the door swinging open.

"She's my girlfriend," Faith says cheerily, pulling me into the apartment and slamming the door behind me, leaving the poor girl outside with her mouth agape.

"She seemed nice," I smile sarcastically.

"Why do I always attract the clingy ones?" she asks rhetorically, turning on the TV. Taking a seat on the couch, she puts her feet up on the coffee table – because she knows I hate it when she does that, but I choose not to acknowledge that. I lay on my side lengthwise across the couch, using Faith's lap as a headrest and close my eyes. I still can't believe what I did to Kennedy. I'm such a terrible person. Ugh!

Every once and awhile, I glance up at her and I swear that she was staring at me. She refocuses her attention back to the TV every time I look though, so I try to stop thinking about it. She begins to gently stroke my back and then to my surprise, she tenderly brushes a stray lock of hair out of my face.

"Faith?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing," just had to make sure it was still her.

"I thought you were just having lunch with Willow today?" she asks out of nowhere.

"I did."

"Must've been a long lunch…" I look at the clock, it's almost 11pm... Uh-oh.

"I… uh… ran into an old friend today," which isn't a total lie.

There's a short silence.

"Kennedy?" I open my eyes, how did she know? As if hearing my unasked question, she adds, "Megan, the manager of the store you were in, is a… friend."

"You mean you've fucked her?" I shift from laying on my side to my back so I can look up at her.

"Same diff," she says apathetically. "So, how is Ken doll doing? How's her arm?"

"Faith…" there's a tone of warning in my voice, "it wasn't like that."

"Of course not, baby, I just want to know how she is," she looks down at me with a wicked grin.

"Sure you did," I sit up and she pulls me into her lap, "if you must know, her arm's healed quite nicely."

"Well, that's good," she grins, sliding her nails up, along the inside of my leg. Mmm…

"I mean it Faith, stay away from her," I've already hurt her enough today. She leans in and starts placing kisses along my collarbone.

"Didn't even cross my mind," she muffles into my neck. I pull away from her, placing my hands on either side of her head.

"Faith," I look her in the eyes, "promise me you will stay away from Kennedy." She rolls her eyes at me. "I'm serious, Faith."

"Why do you care so much that I stay away from your ex?"

"How about what happened last time?" I ask incredulously.

"I had nothing to do with that sweetheart, I heard she got mugged," she replies in a patronizing tone, she tries to move her hand further up my thigh and I clamp my legs shut.

I raise an eyebrow, "Just promise me."

"Fine, fine, I promise," she looks at me impatiently, "happy now?"

"Yes," I unclamp my legs and let her hand roam.

"Sex now?" without waiting for an answer, she lifts me up and throws me over her shoulder in a fireman's carry, heading towards her bedroom.

"Faith, this _not_ dignified."

"So?"

"So, if you're going to carry me to the bedroom, do it the nice way." She ignores me and slaps me on the ass instead. Ow.

As soon as she reaches her destination, she flings me onto the bed – none too gently I might add – so I land on my back. She straddles my lap and starts on removing my top, I sit up a little to make it easier for her. Upon elimination of the unwanted article of clothing, she bends down to place butterfly kisses down my neck and chest. She's about to rip my skirt off when I pull her back up so we're face to face.

"What babe? I'll be careful this time, I won't rip your—" I cut her off.

"No, that's not what this is about," she tries to move back down, but I hold her still.

"What then?" she rolls her eyes.

"Look at me Faith," finally, she meets my gaze. "Tell me you love me."

"What?" she looks at me oddly.

"Just… humor me a little."

"You're serious?" she asks skeptically. I nod, my eyes never leaving hers. "I love you, babe." Now it's my turn to roll my eyes.

"How about, like you actually mean it?" I know that she won't, but it doesn't matter, I just want to hear her say it.

She pauses for a moment, then in tender voice relents, "I love you, Buffy."


	9. Chapter 9

**_Thanks for the reviews, they motivate me to write more (and faster), so here's the next chapter..._**

**_

* * *

_**

"It's been almost a week now since I slept with Kennedy and so far, Faith has kept her promise. Then again, it's only been a few days."

"You think she'll actually try to do something?" Willow asks apprehensively.

"C'mon, it's Faith we're talking about," I scoff, leaning my back against the railing of the patio.

"Yeah," she looks thoughtful for a moment, "but, why does she even care? I mean, she's probably out chasing tail right now."

"She is," I hesitate, "and she only cares, because it's Kennedy."

"Wait, so, she wouldn't care if you slept with some stranger?" her voice unconvinced.

"She wouldn't give a damn," which is the truth.

"Do you understand this Faith logic? 'Cause I sure don't."

"Sadly, yes, I do understand."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Same reason I let her sleep with club skanks and not Cordelia."

"Right, and that's because…?"

"Because Cordelia actually poses a threat to me, whereas the club skanks are just Faith's toys."

"So, let me get this straight, after all this twisted logic, it's because she's actually afraid of losing you to Kennedy?"

"Jeez, don't sound so cynical Will," I look at her and grin, "is it _that_ difficult to believe that she doesn't want to lose me?"

"No… I—"

"Besides, where else is she going to find a girl who will put up with her behavior?"

"Honey, I'm home," Faith calls from inside.

"That's my cue to leave," Will says standing up.

I walk my best friend to the door and we say our goodbyes. I then turn my attention to Faith who's now sitting on the kitchen counter. I slowly saunter over to her. Spreading her legs, I place myself in between them and wrap my arms around her waist. Biting my lip, I look up at her through my eyelashes with an evil smirk.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Faith looks at me suspiciously.

"You forgot…" I accuse gently, starting to kiss her neck.

"Don't be silly, I didn't forget anything," she replies nervously.

"Mmm… hmm… and what is it didn't you forget?" I murmur into her neck.

"I uh…" _kiss_... "didn't forget…" _kiss_… "your uh…" wrong, _bite_... "ow… I mean _our_... our..." better, _another kiss_… "anniversary?" yes, _kiss_. That's a good girl.

I pull away and beam, "I'm glad you didn't forget, honey, I can't wait to see what you have planned for tomorrow." She gives me a tense smile.

"I would never forget such a thing."

"Of course not," I tilt my head up and kiss her affectionately on the lips. "Don't disappoint me Faith…" I whisper, "I put up with a lot from you and I don't ask for much … only a few days out of the year… our anniversary happens to be one of them." I turn on my heels and walk away from her.

"Pfft, tomorrow's gonna be fantastic, just you wait."

"I hope so," I mutter over my shoulder.

…

I was surprised when she told me we were going to have an early dinner at Tavern on The Green in Central Park today... more surprised when we were seated at one of the most romantic tables in the restaurant... and even further shocked to see the gift she got me – the necklace from Winston's that I've been wanting for months.

She never ceases to amaze me.

"I'm impressed Faith," I loop my arm through hers as we stroll through the park, "you pulled off a lot in one day."

"Yeah well, I do what I can," she says as she makes a grand gesture towards a waiting horse drawn carriage. Now I'm absolutely taken aback, she hasn't been this romantic since…

"This is so sweet, Faith," she puts her arm around my shoulders as we relax in the carriage. "You haven't tried this hard since we had just started dating."

"Well, that was just 'cause I was still tryin' to get in them panties."

"So… you're saying that, all I have to do for you to get all romantic-y with me, is to hold out for awhile?" A look of realization hits her.

"Uh… no, that's not what I meant," she recovers quickly.

"And maybe, if I play my cards right, you might even tell me you love me?"

"We'll see how the night goes…"

…

Then of course, who has to ruin an otherwise wonderful evening by being alive?

Cordelia Chase.

We're having dessert at Serendipity's when Cordelia walks in with her loyal following of skankettes. Ugh. Not even a frozen hot chocolate can rid you of the foul taste of Cordelia Chase.

"Oh my god, look Harm, its Faith and… Buffy," the whore squeals when she recognizes us, wonderful.

"Cordelia…" Faith starts awkwardly.

"Gee, I hope you don't mind if we sit with you."

"Actually—" my date begins.

"That's great," she fakes a smile and sits down with us. I was just talking to Harmony and Whitney about—"

"Beat it, Cordy," I snap angrily.

"Why Buffy, how rude," Cordelia scolds.

"I'm serious Cordelia. Faith and I are trying to enjoy our anniversary dinner, so you can leave or I'll make you leave."

"Ugh, bitch," she mutters to Harmony as they leave, but I don't care, as long as they leave.

"C'mon kitten, let's go home," Faith throws a hundred dollar bill on table and grabs my hand.

"You set this up didn't you?" I ask, as soon as we're inside the limo.

"What, moi? Never," but a smirk escapes her lips. I knew it.

"Faith, you sneaky devil," I crawl over her lap and straddle her. "Why would you do such a thing?" I feign anger as best I can

"I would never, baby," she grins, wickedly.

"Faith…" I lean in to bite her neck.

"Okay," she surrenders, "it's just that… you're such little minx after you have a bitch-brawl with Cordy…" she flips me onto my back and I wrap my legs around her waist, "and it's pretty fucking hot."

I pull her head down, crushing our lips together. "Say it Faith," I whisper as she starts to suck on my collarbone.

"I love you, Buffy," she breathes huskily into my ear.


	10. Chapter 10

**_I know that a few of you have complained that Buffy's too pathetic and believe me, I wholeheartedly agree. I was starting to make myself sick at how spineless she was, but it was needed to move the story along. This is the chapter where Buffy finally grows a pair (not literally), so enjoy…_**

**_

* * *

_**

"That sounds _so_ romantic…" Willow gushes. I just had to tell her about our anniversary date, it's not everyday that— actually, it's almost never that Faith is romantic.

"It was," I gush back.

"I didn't know she had it in her," Will teases, "way to light a fire under her ass."

"To be perfectly honest, I really don't think her ass is where I lit the fire," I smirk. She thinks about it for a minute and then goes wide-eyed, understanding my innuendo.

"Oh," she blushes.

"Although, she's been acting a bit odd since then," I tilt my head to side a little, Faith just hasn't been herself since our anniversary.

"How so?" she asks, curiously.

"She's been…" I pause, trying to come up with the right word, "nice."

"Nice?" Will asks incredulously, "She's been acting _nice_ and you're worried?"

"Yes," I'm very worried.

"Why?"

"Well, for starters, she's not bringing home that club trash anymore…"

"Maybe she's tired of them," she suggests, optimistically.

"She stayed home with me yesterday and watched a movie…"

"Maybe she was tired," again, with the optimism.

"She cuddled me after sex…"

"Maybe she—"

"No. And yesterday, she even bought me flowers. _Flowers_, Will. Flowers! She never buys me flowers."

"Buffy… don't you think you're being a tad bit… unreasonable?"

"Look Will, I know her and she isn't that nice to me unless there's something going on."

"Maybe she's had a change of heart…"

"Yeah, and _maybe_,just maybe, pigs can fly and elephants can walk on their hind legs."

"Um, Buffy, elephants _can_ walk on their hind legs," she corrects.

"Okay fine, but this is Faith," I snort.

Will looks thoughtful for a moment, then gives up, "Yeah, you're right, sorry. So what do you think she's up to?"

"I don't know, but I'm going to find out."

"You don't think it could be Cordelia, do you?" I do, but, for her sake, I certainly hope not.

Then, a thought crosses my mind – a thought that only kinda hurts. Faith's home. Faith's home alone. Alone, without me. Faith doesn't stay home.

"Sorry, Will, I gotta go, I uh, left the stove on," I lie horribly.

"Buff, you don't cook."

"I know…" think something, something good, "…which is why I left the stove on. Gotta go, bye." With that, I run and hop in the nearest cab. I don't have time to wait for the limo driver.

When I get home, Faith is still there and unexpectedly, she's alone. Hmm… maybe she _has_ changed for the better. I walk over to her bedroom door, she's on her cell phone, hmm… I can hear her side of the conversation, but I don't know who's on the other end.

"…no, she has no idea… she doesn't suspect a thing… I know, I've been playing her like a violin… no, not a clue… yeah, make sure you call me on this number… okay, I'll be over later…"

"Faith, baby, I'm home," I call out sweetly, as if I just entered.

"I've gotta go," she mutters quickly and flips the phone shut as I walk in, "Hey kitten, you're uh… home early, I thought you were gonna be with Red today." I stroll over to her and graze her lips with my own.

"I was, but then I missed you. You've been so sweet to me lately, I thought I'd come home and thank you properly," I smile seductively.

"Oh," she gives me dimpled grin.

"So, who was that on the phone?" I ask offhandedly, taking off my top and pushing Faith onto the bed. I slowly start trailing kisses down her throat, making her breath hitch.

"I, er, it was… no one, just a telemarketer," dirty liar. I know she's lying – not just 'cause I was eavesdropping, but she just got that phone, and nobody has that number yet, but me. There's no way a telemarketer can have that number yet. But I pretend to accept her answer anyway.

…

I rummage though her clothing, which is now lying on a pile on the floor and quickly find her cell phone. Let's see who you were really talking to… I pull up the last call and it says: "C"

Cordelia.

I knew it.

Dammit Faith.

…

I've put on my clothes and packed a bag, I'm standing in the living room waiting for her when she comes out to look for me.

"Hey baby," she leers, walking over and trying to kiss me, "I wasn't done with you yet." I push her away.

"Faith, we need to talk," I say with no hint of emotion in my voice.

"Aw crap, this is gonna be one of _those_ talks isn't it?"

"I'm leaving."

"Oh, where are you going?"

"I'm going to stay at the Waldorf for a few days."

"Why? I know the beds there are nice, but—"

"No, you don't get it," I emphasize the last part slowly, "I'm leaving_ you_."

"What? You can't just leave me."

"Why not?" I hiss.

"Because..."

"Well, that's a wonderful reason," I retort sarcastically.

"Baby... c'mon, don't leave," she tries to hold my hand, but I pull away.

"I put up with so much from you, I let you sleep with whoever you want and all I ask is that you stay away from Cordelia and you—" I'm yelling now and I can't stop, I didn't want my anger to get the best of me, but I can't help it.

"I haven't been with Cordelia."

"Maybe not yet, but you were going to," I accuse bitterly.

"No, I wasn't," wow, she truly manages to sound sincere.

"So you're telling me that wasn't Cordelia Chase you were talking to when I came home?"

"What? No."

"Then who were you talking to?"

"I can't say."

"Why not?"

Silence. She looks down at the ground.

"Yeah well, then I can't stay," I walk towards the door.

"I love you," she calls after me desperately, her voice actually cracks a little and I turn around to face her.

"No, you don't," I hiss angrily, I whirl around again walk to the door, "And that's the problem."

"No baby, I mean it, I love you." How dare she?

Regaining my composure, I turn and look her in the eyes, "Faith, in all the time that I've known you, do you honestly expect me to believe that?"

Her mouth moves a bit, but no sound comes out, then she says, "Well, no. But it's the truth."

I sigh, "No, Faith, the truth is, you just want to _possess_ me. You don't want me to love anyone else, but you certainly aren't ready to love me yourself."

"I..." her eyes are downcast.

"Look me in the eye and tell me that what I just said isn't true."

Silence.

"That's what I thought," I slam the door behind me and run into the open elevator. I hit the button for the first floor and sink against the back wall, crying.

* * *

_**TBC?  
I know should make this a happy ending, but...**_  



	11. Chapter 11

**_Lyrics to "Mine Again" by Mariah Carey_**

**_

* * *

_**

**_  
_**

I have no idea what's wrong with me. I ask her to tell me she loves me and she does. I ask her to mean it and she does – well, at least she sounded like it. I ask her to be nice to me and she is. So why did it hurt more when I got what I wanted? Why is it that the more she did what I asked, the more miserable I became? Why can't I let myself just be happy?

I blame it on my mother. But these last few years, I blame everything on my mother. Nope, I was _never_ good enough for her, no matter what I did. Oh no, little Buffy, can't do anything right. When Dawn was born I thought that my mother would leave me alone, but no, Dawn could do no wrong and neither can Faith. Faith…

I need more vodka.

…

Slowly, I walk out onto the balcony of the hotel. Taking in the beautiful Manhattan skyline, a smile crosses my face as I feel a pair of strong arms slide around my waist. Leaning back, I rest my head against her shoulder. I turn my head to look up at her and she smiles, a genuine smile; she leans forward planting a soft, lingering kiss on my lips.

"Mmm…" I moan softly as she pulls away.

"I love you Buffy."

"I love you too, Faith."

"Come home, baby," she pleads gently.

"Only if that's what you really want," I turn around in her arms and face her.

"It is…" she leans down to kiss me again, this time more passionately.

knock, knock

What the?

knock, knock

"Wha, huh?"

The knocking on the hotel door rouses me from my slumber. I look around the room, yep still at the hotel – alone. Stupid sexy Faith has to invade my dreams too. The knocking gets louder and faster.

"Hold your horses, I'm coming," I yell at the general direction of the door. As I stumble towards the door, I realize I don't want to see anyone – more specifically, I don't want anyone to see me.

"Go away," I shout, "I'm not accepting any visitors."

"Buffy, darling, it's your mother. Open up." Oh. Crap.

"Go away mother, I have nothing to say to you."

"Well, dear, I have some things that I need to say to you." When I don't open the door, she continues, "And I don't fancy yelling them through the door, I'm not leaving."

"Well, that's too bad mother, I'm not opening the door."

"Buffy, why must you be so difficult?"

"Please, go away mother," she is _definitely_ one person I don't want to talk to right now.

"Buffy Anne Summers, you open this door!"

"No!" I pout, I don't care that she can't see me, I pout for good measure.

"Fine we'll do it your way then," she surrenders. "Why am I paying for you to stay here while you have a perfectly good luxury apartment?" my mother yells through the door.

"What?" I open the door. "You can't honestly tell me you don't know why."

She steps inside and surveys me carefully, "You look like hell."

"Thanks mom, nice of you to visit," I hiss sarcastically.

"Well Buffy, I went to look for you at home and you weren't there. Faith told me you'd be here, but then, the concierge said you'd been here for at least a week. What in the heck is going on?"

"Faith didn't tell you?"

"Oh honey, are you two having problems again? Because she seemed more than willing to want to try and work—"

"No mother, to _have_ problems, you have to first have a relationship," I interrupt quickly.

"What?" I've never seen her look so confused.

"We broke up."

"Oh," she looks surprised. I roll my eyes and walk away from her. "Are you still coming up to the Hampton's this weekend for your father's party?"

I just broke up with the love of my life and all you can ask me is if I'm coming to your stupid party? No 'are okay dear?' or 'how are you doing?'

Heartless bitch.

"Yes mother, I will be at your party. Is that all?"

"Well, yes."

"Great." I shove her out the door and lock it behind her. I'm going pour myself another shot.

…

I'm more than a little surprised when I arrive at the party and no one asks me about the break up. Not one single person. I guess mom didn't tell anyone. Or else I'd at least be stared at and whispered about, but I'm pretty relieved that didn't happen. After mingling with the guests and the usual polite chit chat, I find an empty bedroom to catch my breath. I'm lucky because the room I find has its own miniature liquor cabinet.

I hear the door quietly open and close behind me. I don't have to turn around to know who it is, I just continue to stare out the window. Catching her reflection in the window, she walks over to dresser and puts a CD in the stereo. A sweet, slow tune begins to play.

"I didn't think you'd be here," I say casually.

"I was hoping I'd run into you," is her reply. I turn around and face her for the first time in days.

_(I remember when you used to be mine  
Way back when  
I was too naïve to love you right  
But now if I only had another opportunity  
I would do anything  
Because my heart still believes)_

She hands me a single long stem rose…

_(Maybe you could be mine again  
Maybe we could make that dream for real  
Like way back then  
When love was yours and mine  
Maybe we could bring it back to life)_

She pulls me into her arms and we begin to slow dance…

_(It's irrelevant to dwell on the past  
I'm accountable for what went bad  
And I mean that  
But I keep on praying for another chance  
Just to have you back  
Cause I've grown  
And I know how to be your everything)_

I drape my arms around her neck and look into her beautiful brown eyes…

_(Maybe you could be mine again  
Maybe we could make that dream for real  
Like way back then  
When love was yours and mine  
Maybe we could bring it back to life)_

Placing feather-soft kisses on my neck, she whispers "I'm so sorry"…

_(No, no it ain't over yet  
I just can't accept the possibility  
We weren't made for each other's arms  
I know you're my destiny  
We can't erase what was meant to be  
Part of you and part of me  
If we try one more time  
Maybe somehow we'll survive)_

I step closer to her, pressing our bodies together so that not even light could pass between them…

_(Maybe you could be mine again  
Maybe we could make that dream for real  
Like way back then  
When love was yours and mine  
Boy maybe we could bring it back  
Maybe we could bring it back  
Maybe we could bring it back to…  
Life  
Maybe you could be mine)_

As the song ends, she looks into my eyes and begs, "Please Buffy, give me another chance?"

"This was incredibly sweet Faith, but it's just too little, too late."


	12. Chapter 12

**_I think maybe a chapter or two after this and I'll wrap this story up. Thanks all those who reviewed and yes, the mysterious "C" will be revealed.

* * *

_**

Leaving my parents' party and a very pissed off Faith, I have the driver drop by Kennedy's. I haven't seen her since I accidentally called her Faith and I want to see how she's doing. Even if she doesn't let me in, I'll feel better knowing I tried. Luckily, I spot Kennedy walking out of her building just as the driver pulls up. Must be my lucky night, first the party and now this, maybe I should buy a lottery ticket? As soon as the driver pulls to a stop, I don't even wait for him to open the door. I jump out and run over to her.

"Buffy, what are you doing here?"

"Kennedy, hi, I was just in the neighborhood and I wanted to come by and see how you were doing 'cause I feel really bad about how we left things the last time I was here and I really— I'm babbling now and I'll stop," I manage to get out all in one breath. I notice a frown cross her face when I mention the events of my last visit though.

"I'm… I'm okay," she replies quietly. When I finally muster up the courage to look her in the eye, I instantly notice the shiner that's being concealed by makeup. I reach over to touch her face and she flinches away.

"Who did this to you?" I ask angrily.

"So how is Faith?" she asks coldly. Faith? Why—?

"Faith did this?" I can't believe it! I specifically told her to stay away from Kennedy.

"So how _are_ you two doing? Good I hope, Willow told me that she's actually beginning to treat you like a human being," her tone is so bitter and sarcastic, I'm not used to hearing her like this – even though I know I deserve it.

"We broke up," I say faintly.

"Figures," she rolls her eyes and begins to walk away from me. I catch her arm and stop her.

"Kennedy, I said I was sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't mean it."

"You must think I'm an idiot," her voice becomes heated.

"Nothing could be further from the truth."

"Did you really think that I didn't know about your relationship with Faith when we were together?"

"You did?" I never thought she suspected anything. "Why didn't you ever say anything?" I ask quietly.

"Because I loved you!" Kennedy practically shouts at me.

"I—"

"You love her and you always will," she hesitates, "because that's how I feel about you. So don't tell me now that just because you finally decided to leave her, that you don't still love her."

"That maybe so, but that doesn't mean that I never cared about you. It kills me that I hurt you and I—"

"Stop Buffy, if you really cared about me, then you would leave me alone."

"Is that what you really want? You want me to leave you alone?"

"Yes." That hurts.

"Then, I guess, that's what I'll do," I answer dejectedly. Turning around, I return to the limo without looking back. By the time I'm inside the car, she's already out of sight. Well… that could've been worse – well, not really. I would give anything to take back what I did to her, she didn't deserve to be hurt because Faith and I are insane. Speaking of which…

…

Violently throwing open the door, to our once shared apartment, I once again find myself coming face to face with Faith.

"Buffy," she smiles, "I knew you'd come home." Faith walks over and attempts to give me a hug, I forcefully shove her away.

"How could you? I specifically told you to stay away from her!" I shout, backing her against the wall.

"Whoa, hang on there," she puts up her hands in surrender. "I told you I didn't sleep with Cordy."

"Kennedy."

"I definitely didn't sleep with her either."

"Don't be a smart ass, I know you gave her that black eye. What the fuck were you thinking?"

"That she wouldn't bruise that easy…?"

I glare at her and slam her back against the wall. "You promised me," I hiss.

"I know but—"

"But nothing, you promised me you'd stay away from her and you lied. Do you see why I can't be with you?"

"No."

"Because everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie, Faith, because there's no way that I could every trust you."

"Y'know, this may be a bad time to bring this up. But this angry, ferocious version of you is making me kinda hot…"

"Ugh! You are impossible!" I turn to storm away from her, but she pulls me back.

"Wait, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

"Do you ever?"

"Yes," her tone changes to a serious one, "lately, all I can think about is you. I know you don't believe me when I say 'I love you' and I don't blame you. But please just hear me out?"

"Fine," I sigh.

"I'm an idiot."

"Not gonna argue with you there."

"Right, but with you being gone these last couple of weeks, I've realized that I'm probably never going to find anyone who's going to put up with me the way you have."

"Why don't you give Cordelia a call? I'm sure she'd try."

"C'mon, baby, you've gotta know that Cordy never meant anything to me."

"Then why did you go to such great lengths to fuck her?"

"Because it pissed you off!" she exclaims excitedly.

"I'm done with this conversation," I again turn to leave, only to be dragged back by Faith – again.

"Hear me out, babe. You never got pissed about anyone else, just Cordy and it was nice to know that you cared – 'sides, it's not even like she was all that great in bed." I reach out and smack her upside the head.

"You really are an idiot."

"Yes, but see, I figured it out. It's you! I'm an idiot for you! Wait— no, that didn't come out quite right…" she scratches her head.

"Goodnight Faith," I sigh.

"Buffy please," she grabs my hand and gets down on her knees. "Just give me another chance. I know I don't deserve one, but just let me try and I'll spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you. Look at me, I'm on my knees begging you, would you believe this if you weren't seeing it for yourself? Please, just one more chance?"


	13. Chapter 13 END

_**AN: Well, I'll be honest, I really don't like this ending (mostly because I feel its crap), but I didn't feel it was fair to just leave it at a cliffhanger. I've actually had this written for months now and since people have been baggin' me about my lack of updateyness I'm mostly putting this here to shut them up...  
**_

_**

* * *

**_

"You just don't get it, do you? I can't trust you," I bring her to a standing position, "I love you Faith, but I can't be with you." I lean forward slowly to brush my lips against hers, letting a single tear slide down my cheek, and then I abruptly turn on my heels to leave.

"Please B, we belong together," she begs desolately, but I keep my back to her.

"No Faith, I can't do this anymore," I keep my voice cold and distant, in order to suppress a sob.

"Buffy, please…" she croaks tiredly, "please don't… don't let it end like this."

But I ignore her and don't turn around. I know that if I turn around now, I'll never be able to leave. I just keep walking. Once I'm safely inside the elevator, I stop struggling to contain the tears that have been threatening to burst from me for what feels like forever. Resting my forehead against the cool elevator wall, I close my eyes and let the hot tears stream down my face. Then the damn elevator music comes through the speakers and it only makes my blubbering worse.

_All the magic's gone_

_There's just a shadow of a memory_

_Something just went wrong_

_We can't go on make-believing_

Hitting the button for the lobby repeatedly apparently doesn't make the lift go any faster. Goddamn it.

_I don't wanna cry_

_Don't wanna cry_

_Nothing in the world_

_Could take us back_

_To where we used to be_

_Though I've given you my heart and soul_

_I must find a way of letting go_

_'Cause baby, I don't wanna cry_

Sniffling, I attempt to make myself as presentable as possible before stepping out of the elevator. Stepping from the elevator, I freeze as soon as my eyes come to rest on a certain brunette standing in my way. She takes a step towards me and I notice for the first time how drained she looks.

"I'm not going to let you go like this B."

"Fuck off Faith," I let my anger flare this time, why can't she just leave me alone? Can't she take a damn hint? She grabs my arm, stopping me.

"No, B, not like this, you have to know the truth."

"I don't want to hear any version of your 'truth' Faithy, so you can just take your truth and shove it," I shake my arm free and storm past her. But of course she just can't take the hint and follows after me anyway. I stomp through the lobby doors and spot the driver parked across the street. Faith once again grabs me, this time stopping me on the sidewalk.

"Buffy," she pleads jadedly. Alright, now I'm just pissed off.

"Leave me alone Faith, I don't want to deal with you anymore, I'm tired and I just want to go home."

"Then come home," she takes my hand and holds it to her chest. I use the offending hand to push her away from me.

"This isn't my home anymore, I gave you your chance and you blew it. Now deal." I turn away from her and start across the street towards the car.

"But you don't understand Buffy."

"I understand this Faith," I stop to turn and face her, "I understand that in the last three years that we've been together, you've been nothing, but a selfish, conceited ass." My voice seems to raise an octave every other word and people have begun to stare at us, but I don't care anymore. "I've done nothing but give and give, but when was the last time you did something selfless for me? When was the last time—"

My tirade is interrupted by Faith tackling me. During my little outburst I failed to notice the oncoming taxi, but luckily for me Faith didn't. Unfortunately for Faith, the taxi couldn't stop in time.

I can only sit on the ground in shock as I stare at her seemingly lifeless body lying in the street. She turns her head to cough and I'm finally snapped from my stupor. Running to her side, I take her hand and begin apologizing frantically, but I'm weeping so hysterically that all you can really make out are a few frenzied whimpers.

"B…" she says softly, her voice frail and rasping.

"Faith, I'm so sorry."

"I should've just told you," she chuckles weakly.

"I love you Faith."

"I know, maybe now you'll believe me," she coughs and a little blood comes up, which makes me weep even more; reaching up with her other hand she wipes a tear away from my cheek, "I'll always love you." She then reaches into her jacket and pulls out a small velvet box. "I want you to have this."

Inside the small box is a magnificent engagement style diamond ring, a beautiful Elara-cut diamond that has to be at least ten carats, set in a beautiful platinum band. My breath is completely taken away, but not because of the ring, because of the lettering on the inside lid of the box: "Cellini." That must've been… oh my God, I'm the idiot.

"Oh Faith, I'm so sorry," I manage between sobs. "I didn't… this is all my fault…"

"Ssshh… it's not your fault B…" Faith whispers as she slips into unconsciousness.

* * *

_**I've left the ending kinda ambiguous so think whatever you want... make it your own happy/sad ending... use your imagination  
**_


End file.
